As a writer I always need a beginning, middle, and end before I even start something. Today has been one heck of a day for us. I had found a lump in my left breast. Two actually, and went for a sonogram. I had been due for my bilateral sono, since I had breast cancer twice before, I go every six months now for mammo/sono alternately. The left breast showed a fluid filled cyst that they will aspirate if I want, I have had this same thing aspirated twice and both times the fluid was clear, and fine. I was thrilled that’s all it was. Until, of course the radiologist explained that she was more concerned about a mass in my right breast. She took the transducer thing and began to examine the right breast. In seconds, I saw on the screen a HUGE thing. I say thing because I did not know what it was! If the left breast cyst was a grape, this was a large orange, relatively speaking.
I was beyond optimistic, and said oh so we can drain this one too? She looked at me, and I could see that I was way off. As it turns out, there is something in the cyst that is not fluid..its not “clean”. Of course, I fell apart. This was the very last thing that I could have ever expected. Very long story short, the biopsy is on Thursday.
As this is all going on, all I can think about is G. Is this the end? There is no way at all that I am ready for this to be it. I have not even TALKED to The One about this, but I know where his head is, so we are not going to agree. What really stinks is that I am pretty sure we are going to get our crosshairs any day, so now this is just one more thing to think about. There is a strong chance that I wont be writing on here for a few days, I just really dont want to think about this now. Maybe I will, idk….
I wish you all lots and lots of baby dust….xoxo