Ok…

It has been a very long day.  This morning at 9 I called the dr office for the results.  I waited on hold for what seemed like an hour, to learn that my hcg is 31, my progesterone is 4.5.  The reality is, we are pregnant.  But it does not look great.  If by some miracle I do not start bleeding, I am going to get retested to see if it changes.  Apparently I could be off on my day of O and then that would make me less pregnant than I think I am.  I have a hard time thinking this is the case.  This is the same thing that happened  last December.  So now I just sit and wait…always waiting.

I cried.  The One rolled on top of me and I said I am so done, like I usually do.  And like he always does, he said NO!  We are not giving up!  I tried to explain through my tears that I can not take this anymore, and how it is not  like I can even control what happens.  We make love almost every single day, sometimes two or three times a day, yet we have issue after issue.  He still did not waiver.  I talked about my low progesterone, and he said SO! We get it up there!  He just refused to give up.

As it stands right now, I am still tired, nauseous, boobs hurt, ate pizza just to have the marinara, and I cry every ten minutes.  I really do not know what to think, feel or do.  I run to the bathroom every fifteen minutes to see if I am bleeding, and there is nothing.  Not even cramps.  Actually there IS the cm that I have had.

If my dates are off, and things are ok, then this will be by far the best Christmas present ever.  Should it not be, which is what I suspect, I have been on Clomid for two months.  I think that means I have four to go.  I guess we will get to that point, and decide what to do next.  Until then, say a prayer and send baby dust this way!!

xo

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