Today is CD26 for me. Normally I am about 11 or 12 dpo. Well, not this month!!! I am only 6 dpo! What a roller coaster ride it has been too! I had this great feeling about February. Especially because I was going to ovulate on or extremely close to Valentine’s Day. Well, that came and went. Frankly, so did that whole WEEK because according to Fertility Friend, I did not ovulate until SATURDAY!! Which was CD20. I was pretty upset, because aside from the pregnancy monitor giving us a “low” score, thinking of how late in the month it was, well, just UGH!!! Since then, I have had decent temp action, and yesterday it rose to 98.3, and today I spiked at 98.6. Could we be implanting? Possibly! I do feel it this month.
But there is a lot more to all of this. As I continue on, and learn more and more, the one thing that keeps getting clearer and clearer is the love that is the foundation for this whole journey. The other night, my greatest love was googling something on how to increase the chances of having a baby, and said at one point “what if there is something wrong with me”. Of course, I know there isn’t, we have gotten pregnant before, but the first thing that came into my mind was – right or wrong, I wouldn’t want it any other way…..I love this man. Of course we want to add our Giuliana to our life, but the reality of it is ~ if that is not in the plan, it’s ok. When we are in our bed, and we are laying wrapped up in each other, that is not going to go away. The love will never lessen, it can only grow.
If you read this, and you are at all like me, you want to get your period, enter that on chart and have the whole thing figured out right at that moment. I don’t mean figured out by the website either. I mean YOU want to say “ok, today I want this to happen, this day I want this to happen” etc. What I am thinking is that maybe TTC is God’s way of actually getting one ready for parenthood. Prepping us to realize that stuff is going to happen at the worst times, some at the best, and some may never happen. Regardless of which of those lots you get, we should be grateful for even having the moments on the journey. Tempering it all with love, as I am learning, is what separates the journey from the destination.