I am reminded of the song by Jefferson Starship, “We Built This City”, the line “…the countdown is getting near the fly time…”. It has been years since I have even heard that song, but for some reason I can not get it out of my head. Well, not just some reason. I am very much aware that any time The One and I make love right now, could potentially be that magic moment! (to be honest, it’s always that magic moment, but you know what I mean!!) So I find myself humming about, gathering thoughts for all of the writing that I am going to be doing today. I have two articles to work on, some blogging to do, just a lot of catching up.
But I just can’t get this particular blog out of my head. I want to be here. I want to be perched in front of my computer screen, expressing the feelings that I am having about this particular cycle, The One, and our Giuliana. Monday I told you that I had this great feeling about this month. It is still there. Maybe because I am seeing so many things, signs if you will, that are telling me this is it. NOW is the time. Possibly my body and my mind needed the time to come back from the m/c we had in December. Of course, there is also the fact that I have had someone at my home for an extended period of time, who has just left. Many things are just saying “This is your month!”.
Then, there is The One. Early on in this blog I spoke of our love, how it is the strongest, most amazing love ever. Since then, it has only grown. How it is possible, I will never understand, but on the same token, why would I want to? Just let it keep happening. Oh, back to him. In August, we were laying in bed ( you can read the earliest post of the blog for the full version) and I remember him telling me that he really did not want any more children. Which was a scary thing, because at that time, I was pregnant. Now, in February, there is nothing we want more. I don’t want to seem snobbish, but I know there are people that want children to add to their family. Obviously there are children that are wonderful accidents, and various reasons that people have children.
But our Giuliana? Like our love, she will be “like no other”. The want of her in our life is born solely from the love we have for each other. A living, breathing representation of the most amazing, incredible and perfect thing that has ever existed in both of our lives. I live for the moment when I will have our baby, growing beneath the very heart that beats for The One, for our love. Part him, part me, but one hundred percent US, it is not even within my scope of thought to think of how incredible she will actually be. It just is so perfect that it is February, the month for lovers, romance, and all things love. Yeah, I really can not help but think this is really it.