Tuesday night I had flushed my hopes of this month being the month for Myrtle. Wednesday morning, well, not so much. My alarm went off to temp, and in my sleepy haze, I grabbed the thermometer, took my temp and when I took it out I said to myself OH CRAP!!! as I figured I would get a little bit of blood on my bedding. When I got into the bathroom, the thermometer was clean, and my temp was……….still high?? Sitting to pee, I wiped and there was not one spec of blood there!!!
Ok, now I am officially freaking out. Im late, I feel pregnant and the period I thought that I had was GONE! But that could not have been implantation bleeding after AF was due. I did post in my FF group and one of the ladies did mention that the cervix becomes very vascular, and we probably had a little TOO much fun on Monday (see, I told you there was a reason I was telling you about that!!). Realizing that more than likely I am pregnant, there needs to be some test done.
Now, some people may have already pee’d on a stick, or 30. And believe me, it is not that I have amazing willpower or patience. That is not the case at all, but I have this amazingly insane control thing. Once I pee on that stick, I no longer have control, and I am not ready to give it up to some diagnostic piece of plastic encasing a strip that will hold my future on it by simply having one or two lines present. That being said, I call the doctor, and go for some bloodwork.
I am analyzing everything now. I can’t sleep, my boobs hurt way too much, anxiety has taken over my life, and the smallest things have found ways to just blow up. In my heart, I know I am pregnant. Everyone around me knows it too, and for the sake of our Myrtle, I take on a pregnant woman mentality. Eating what I should, not drinking too much etc. I do remember Thursday night, my friend had made fritattas, a dish I love, and she had put ketchup on hers. The vinegar smell of the ketchup got me so sick I wanted to run down my street and never come home. That did it for me. That was my positive test.
My blood results were to be in Friday morning, and I really have no idea how I am going to sleep. I think I have done better as a child on Christmas Eve, but eventually exhaustion set in, and its Friday morning. The wait to 9am was agonizing, and when I called I got a secretary who said to me that they just walked in and nothing was on. I never pull the DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM card, but this was a drastic moment. I said to her, “Listen this is so and so, and I will hold on until you get everything ready” and she said no, we have alot of calls coming in, call back at eleven” WOW, so she really is going to get me more psychotic than I am. “Who is this?” I ask, and she tells me. “Who is there, Doctor wise?” I ask her. She tells me right now, its just Ali, the NP. “Fine, tell her that is me, please.” So Ali gets on the phone and she is sweet as can be and she says well we dont have anything up yet can you call back and I tell her that really, no I cant. So she puts me on speaker and as it is, the computer she needs never logged out so in a matter of minutes she is into the lab system. I hear HMMM. Ok, well,lets see here, good, good, good, well, your HCG is elevated. I said, wait, hang on, so Im pregnant? “Yes” is all I heard after that. I sat on my stairs because I could not stand anymore. I was crying. “Tell me again” I said. “Well, tomorrow I want you to go for a second HCG and we will have the results by Monday” I gave her the lab number, she told me to keep taking my prenatals, said congratulations and we hung up.
I had to tell The One. Honestly, the only thing I remember was running into his good shoulder, crying incoherently and realizing that I am probably scaring the crap out of him. We go lay in bed, and calmly, I share the news. What a wonderful day for us. We have finally made Myrtle.