Usually my “big day” is CD15 and according to www.fertilityfriend.com, I have ovulated as early as CD14. So this month I had it all figured out. We would start on Thursday, and dance that dance until Sunday, with the cherry on top on Monday just for good fortune. Ok, really it was just for fun, to reward ourselves for having ALL that fun the days before.
Yeah, ok. If anyone reading this is TTC, then you know that is not at all how it goes. Lovemaking for fun and lovemaking for procreation is apples and oranges. Especially when you put a three day fertile window in the mix. I compare it to fashion. I can take huge risks when I am going somewhere that I am sure to be the best dressed, but if I am going to something where I may be rivaled, or worse, photographed, I may have to make a phone call or two. (But NEVER EVER send a pic to fashism. com, anyone can give you advice and you will end up with a big black rectangle over your eyes!!!). The point is, pressure sucks. And it makes even the most confident woman (me) crumble and cry in fear.
Fortunately for me, he (who I always call The One, even in my cell, so I will refer to him as that going forward) is incredibly supportive and wise, and would not give up. And when I say no matter what, I mean NO MATTER WHAT!!! So Monday morning I woke up and was eager to take my temperature to see if it had gone up again, since it did on Sunday. Ding dong, alarm goes off, thermometer in, and wham. 96.62. Lowest temp of the month!!! How the hell can this be happening? Saturday it was 96.7 and Sunday it went up to 97.19. These little increments may sound small but looking at them on a chart is huge. I forgot to mention, I had been doing an OPK in the afternoon, and had just assumed that I had missed my surge, but for some reason when I woke up Tuesday morning at 6, I did my temp, and I poas, and there was NOTHING on the OPK except for the line that says you did it right. Then later in the day, WHAM. Two dark lines. That, if you dont know, is a + OPK.
Now, you have to know me, which you dont, but I am trying to keep it all together and there is nothing I can do but cry. In the middle of a nervous breakdown because clearly, based on my BBT, I have not ovulated. Yep, thats right, all of that lovemaking, with the pressure, and this chick has not even laid the egg. I call The One, and I am just bawling like you have no idea, and then he just puts it all in perspective as he usually does. We didn’t MISS it!!! We still have a shot, because it has not HAPPENED YET!!! So, after crying a bit more (maybe the mucinex I had been taking increased my tears too?) I shook it off, (on the outside at least) and hung a shelf in my yoga room, and went on with my day. Of course, The One handed me a card after work and the words in it made me realize while we are trying to create a miracle, we really already have. The greatest love either of us have ever known. And as long as I have that, I’ll be ok. NOT that we are not going to keep trying for Myrtle, I am just saying!!
So, waking up on CD18, my temp is higher still, so I am on an upward trend, I think I may have ovulated yesterday or overnight. I just hope that I have enough of a luteal phase so that our Myrtle can nestle herself (I say SHE, he calls it HE, go figure) nicely into mommy. But time will tell. Here is to gearing up for the 2WW!!!